I was born and brought up in Chennai, and when I was just six years, I was diagnosed with total hearing loss in the right ear and profound hearing loss in the left ear. I studied in a government-aided school, and my grandmother taught me various subjects during my teenage years. During my teenage, I never really had any friends. Every day was a fight. I would spend three to four hours channelling my stress and anger because I could not understand everything in class and was not involved in other activities. I was awarded as the most silent student in my class. It was the fear of rejection in me that pushed me to prove my worth to the world.
I sat on the first bench in the corner and depended on lip-reading instead of listening. During college, I studied computer science engineering, and I had to double up my efforts to understand concepts. I would copy the notes from my bench mate to understand better. Something in me kept nagging me to talk about deafness to people, but because I had always been dependent on people, I thought I would never be able enough on my own. I joined a job in the IT sector, and in 2014, I left my job to pursue my passion for photography full-time.
When my parents learned about my disability when I was young, my mother burst into tears. The doctor told them that I would not react, but I was observing them. It was a big deal; when I got my first hearing aid, all my classmates would ask me about it. In the beginning, I was not trained to react to my classmates’ reactions, so I did not know if it was okay or not to talk about it. In school, all I had for me were my parents, teachers and very few friends who would help me.
Once I understood my plight of having a hearing disability, I learned to be more disciplined. Even though I wanted to connect and make new friends, I felt I could not do the same. So, I channelled all my energy towards studies and ended up scoring 92 per cent in my board examinations. Since people never really understood the pressure of my disability, I always felt frustrated. Conversations over a call were the scariest, and I would get anxious once the phone rang. When I began work, I always cursed myself for not coping with the meetings. In hindsight, I realized I was not being practical.
Things started to change when I decided to leave my job and pursue photography full-time. I applied a solution-oriented approach and embraced my issue. After extensive solo travelling and documenting festivals around the country, I began understanding myself better. I was in a clearer headspace, and I could plan what I wanted to do in future. My journey in photography was not a smooth road altogether. My parents were initially not comfortable with my career switch, but they eventually saw how happy photography made me. One thing was always set in stone for me- I could not believe in myself and follow my heart.
Now, I am on a mission to transform the lives of deaf children by encouraging them to take up photography. Firstly, I want to increase employment among the deaf community; secondly, I want to see more people like me become independent.
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