Saumya M Swamy always had to face comments from people for her ‘dark skin’. Her mother always received advice on making her daughter look fairer. But once she started valuing and appreciating her skin colour just the way it is, the frivolous beauty standards of society didn’t matter her anymore.
“Ever since I was born, my mom has had to face unsolicited advice. I’m dark-skinned, so relatives would give her tips on how to make me ‘fairer’. My mom never bothered & brushed it off when it became a topic of conversation.
It got worse when my brother was born. He was fairer than me. The comparisons were endless. Even at school I was compared to a crow. Everyone around me would talk about how to be ‘fair’.
Through all of this, it was engraved in my mind that my skin colour isn’t normal. That affected how I felt about myself & my life. I was disturbed. My mom even suggested that I go for therapy.
I hit my lowest when I wanted to play the lead in a school play. I was meant for it. But, I was asked to play the role of a tree instead since it would ‘match my skin colour’. That day, I cried for hours.
After that, I quit theatre & joined sports. Being in the sun gave me an excuse for why I was ‘dark’. Even when I’d go out of the house, I’d always cover my face.
But one day, I was out with a friend & my hands were over my face. My friend saw that & swatted my hands off. She looked me straight in the eye & said that I was gorgeous. She said that my skin was my identity & the most beautiful colour she’d seen!
It was the first time that I received a compliment. It was a wake up call. For too long I had let other people’s opinions affect the way I felt & take control of my entire identity. It was tough, but I made small changes. I stopped covering my face, applying layers of sunscreen & drowned the sound of haters. Once I went on a date with a guy, who told me ‘You’re pretty for a dark-skinned girl’—I just got up & left. I learned to value & appreciate myself.
And can I tell you one thing? When I started doing that, it felt like the universe was now in my favour. People started loving my confidence, opportunities opened up & life didn’t seem unfair anymore.
I guess sometimes it just takes a strong belief in yourself & seeing yourself as perfect just as you are—for the world to love you too. To not doubt yourself, or think you’re lacking—but to know that you’re brave & beautiful & that a frivolous standard of beauty has got nothing on you.”
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