A Terrible Movie Called Indian Politics: Parliamentarians Who Put Nation To Shame

Name of The Play: “A Terrible Movie Called Indian Politics”

Date: August 10, 2015.
Location: The Upper House of the Indian Parliament (the ‘Temple of Democracy’).
Cast: A bunch of unruly, childish adults who don’t understand democracy (or decency).
Audience: A friendly Bhutanese delegation, an exasperated Hamid Ansari, and the rest of the world.

It’s a movie called ‘Indian Politics’ – and it’s received the most negative reviews imaginable for a very long time. Not only are the actors – the so-called “representatives of the people” – horrible at their job, they are also foul-mouthed and unbelievably immature. They can’t do a single scene without throwing accusations and threatening each other.

The audience was promised a script filled with civilized debating on many topics that affect India. But all they were given were protests and offensive bantering between the actors. The screenplay was mundane and the dialogue delivery was rash and unsettling. The location settings were the only thing that (almost) saved the movie from being a complete disaster. The movie takes place in a beautiful, ornate round building with pillars as strong as the actors’ vocal chords. It’s a pity this majestic monument must be the setting of such a bad movie with such an uninspiring cast.

No, it’s not that the entire cast is horrible; it’s just that they’re not good enough to compensate for the group which never stops shouting lines that are not even in the script. This is one of those cases where a bunch of rotten apples just spoils the entire basket. And what a tragedy that is for the innocent audience!

After watching the movie, the audience was left with only one question: “How did these actors even get hired!” Thankfully, the movie didn’t last too long – the actors created such a ruckus that the director, Hamid Ansari, himself had to intervene and adjourn the movie.

This movie would not have been a big issue had it not been for the fact that a delegation from a neighbouring nation was visiting to view the movie and to “experience Indian democracy”. It’s also depressing because 1.26 billion people were really counting on the actors to do their best in the movie, but the actors just didn’t seem to care. They never improved, always bickered amongst themselves, and let down the millions who vouch for them every day.

The movie’s been showing in theatres for 3 weeks now in an art festival called ‘The Monsoon Session’. The festival is dedicated to showcasing creative slogans, offensive posters and no cooperation whatsoever.

In conclusion, a friendly note from the audience: the actors better stop playing around, concentrate on their work and learn to cooperate with conflicts of interest. Because there may be more deserving actors out there waiting to replace them in a few years.