Awareness

Overcoming Stigma: It’s Not My Fault That I Bleed

The Logical Indian

October 16th, 2015

SHARES
Image Source: rupikaur

I have to disagree with feminists on this. Periods are a pain. I feel absolutely no pleasure, no sense of liberation and absolutely don’t under any circumstances embrace my periods. I actually hate them. I think a lot of girls would agree that there is nothing inspiring or liberating about being in constant pain for 4-5 days (depending on your flow). There is nothing empowering about not understanding my own overflow of absurd emotions and it is not fun to cry for no reason, in fact it can get exhausting. I envy the women that breeze through the forbidden days with ease and comfort because I for one cannot make it out of them without either a nappy rash from wearing pads or at east one bridge burnt because of yelling at someone for no good reason.

Don’t even get me started on the agony of cramps. If this is any indication towards what labor feels like or even a teaser like my mother would put it, I’m definitely opting for a C-section. It’s not only your stomach though, my back reacts like it’s suffering from a slip disc and sometimes the pain is so intense that I wake up in the middle of night running around in a dark room like a drug addict looking for anything to ease my pain. During these days my trustee electric heating pad does come to the rescue but with temperatures already so high, I sweat myself into a dehydrated state just to get some sort of relief. I know every time I bleed because it starts with an intense cramp that paralyzes me for a couple of seconds, during which I practice my yoga deep breathing rituals and it ends with wetness between my legs and to be honest that wetness comes as relief. This is from no angle a fun process and forget empowering, the only thing I’m empowered to do in that moment is gauge my own eyes out.

Let’s not forget that every once a month when I go through these insane emotions, I’m apparently not allowed to enter a temple either. My grandmother looks at me like I’m the spawn of Satan and for those 4 days I’m not allowed to be in the presence of god because I’m “impure” and “dirty”. Wow, like I didn’t feel awful enough already. With the whirlwind of emotions that already flood my head and the blood that floods my underwear, I’m apparently completely alone through this one because even god doesn’t want me!    Then the routine questions about the curse of being a woman start making my head dizzy and all of this over-thinking only ends with a tub of ice cream or anything the size of an elephant I feel like pleasing my unjustified appetite with. The self-pity, the pain, the stigma…. how on earth can any of this be good for any human being? Not to mention that there are days that I go to change my pad and the amount of blood leaving my body has me in complete shock, making me wonder just how my body isn’t short on blood as of now. That’s pretty amazing though, that one always baffles me.

You know what annoys me though? Those sanitary napkin commercials, I’m so sorry but breezing through your period no matter what napkin you choose is a LIE. Because there is no such thing as “breezing” through your period, it’s a mission and climbing mt.Everest could seem like an easier task.
So while I firmly believe that periods are no fun, I also believe it is something we need to talk about. Whether it’s a beautiful process, a disgusting one or an agonizing one (that’s for you to decide) but it is important that we talk about what we go through. There’s no reason such things should stay behind close doors or zipped up in our trousers, it happens to everyone and it’s not something to be ashamed of. Lets break the taboo, menstruation is natural and we don’t live in the stone ages anymore, I don’t know about you but I’m talking about the good, bad and the ugly because it’s not my fault that I bleed.

Written by
Ria Sharma
Founder at Make Love Not Scars

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