The number of people separated in India is more than twice the number of people divorced – 0.61% of the married population is separated while only 0.29% is divorced.
This doesn’t mean Indian marriages are best in the world and all Indian couples are like #couplegoals. The biggest reason behind low divorce rates is the stigma (and family drama) attached to it.
I got divorced in 2019, but it felt more like being in the 1920s. Trust me, while we may think we are getting more liberal, most of us hold the most regressive of views towards divorce.
If you are getting divorced because of compatibility issues, good luck explaining it to your folks, because for Indian parents. For them, marriage equals adjustment. If he doesn’t hit you, or he isn’t having an affair, wanting a divorce is something not required in society.
If you don’t have a kid, relatives will take it to be the reason behind your divorce. Some people also think that you’re doing it for the alimony amount. Few of us just want to walk away with dignity without any money at all.
Your parents will sometimes say things they don’t mean just to save your marriage and but also want their prestige to be maintained in society.
Birthday and anniversary dates will bug you in the first year (damn you Facebook memory), deleting exotic honeymoon photos will be tough, exiting family groups will be a relief (silver lining). But if your ex ends up getting remarried before you, be prepared to keep few chocolates in your nightstand handy.
After all legal and family drama, once you are divorced, and plan to explore plenty of fish, be prepared to have the divorce conversation with your date.
If you are looking for remarriage, you will see very few unmarried singles who will respond. After all, you get the tag of being “second hand”.
So should you lose all the hope??? Absolutely not – all five fingers are not same. While you will meet “Mr Misogyny” on many occasions, you will also meet people who don’t care about your past relationships.
There will be few elder women who’ll comment on taking this step for breaking up a relationship that wasn’t working as they couldn’t do it themselves.
There will be times when you look back and applaud yourself for taking the tough but correct decision. If you are willing to learn, divorce will teach you more than your marriage ever did.
Today I “the divorcee” couldn’t be happier. Believe me that not my marriage, but divorce was made in heaven.
If you too have an inspiring story to tell the world, send us your story at
mystory@thelogicalindian.com
