My Story: 'Participating in Mr Gay India Gave Me The Opportunity To Give My Community More Visibility'

We reach a certain age in our lives when we see a person and feel butterflies in our stomach. All of us have crushes in school on a certain classmate. However, while all the boys in my class liked a girl, I was attracted to a boy. I had no idea about how to navigate through this, let alone express these feelings. Not only that, my effeminate ways and dark skin tone made me stand out for all the wrong reasons. I was bullied by my classmates very often because of this.

'I Felt Light After Coming Out To My Parents'

I was in my 30s when I came out to my parents. They started to look for a girl for me when I turned 29. I kept ignoring the conversation about this, telling them that I don't want to marry right now. Fortunately, for me, my horoscopes did not match with the girls in question. This went on for three years. It was when I turned 32 was when my parents found a person, who they thought was the right one. That's when I decided to come out to them.

My parents were quite surprised after my revelation. Confusion was evident on their face. I explained to them in detail that I will never marry a girl because I am sexually attracted to men. As this dawned upon them, they were extremely upset that I kept this secret from them. My parents felt that they could have 'done something' about it but I stood my ground, stating that this is who I am. The truth may hurt them but this is what my reality is.

I felt light after coming out to my parents. It felt as if a big rock was lifted off my chest. However, it took some time for my parents to understand. I even got them to talk to a queer-friendly psychiatrist, who cleared their obvious doubts. After this, they stopped questioning me. At the end of the day, I know my parents love me like they always do. It will not diminish just because I am gay.

Giving More Visibility To LGBTQIA+ Community

When I got to know about Mr Gay India, I was 37 years old. By that time, I was well settled in my career in the corporate world. Along with this, I was also working towards more awareness about the LGBTQIA+ community. However, I felt that more work needs to be done. I was wondering how to take the conversation forward. This was when I heard about the pageant. I decided to give this a go. I wanted to go ahead, have a good time, and see where this takes me. Participating in this contest gave me the opportunity to take the conversation about my community forward.

I won the title in 2019. I still remember the night when I won, many people came up to me, congratulating me for the same. They were extremely happy to see me come this far, as representation really matters. Being in the limelight like this will definitely start some conversation about us and raise awareness as well.

Growing up, it was not easy for me. My childhood was really difficult to navigate through it. However, I still held my head high and survive. For those who are still struggling with their identity, all I want to say is take your time. To those who are already out and proud, I want them to use their power, position and privilege to help others in need.

If you too have an inspiring story to tell the world, send us your story at mystory@thelogicalindian.com