My Story: People Tell Me That I Should Take Comments On My Body As Compliments And Not As Harassment

“Honestly, I’m not sure how much will change. My throat is hoarse with yelling at harassers and making a scene. People will watch the debacle as mute spectators. And verbal harassment is still seen as “eve teasing”.

When I was once groped at a bar and I made a scene, someone told me I should calm down as it was just a grope, and not rape. It’s like we have to set standards of harassment and others get to decide for us what seems okay to rant against and what isn’t. I have others telling me that casual comments on my body are something that I should take as a compliment and not as harassment. I don’t think others should get to decide what is or isn’t harassment for me.

And I know men aren’t entirely safe either, but the added fear of rape makes it harder for women to just feel carefree outside. I also think men need to be a part of this conversation because they’re oblivious to a lot of it and are unable to comprehend what constitutes harassment. Awareness is important, but so is conversation. I see many men getting defensive and just tired of the feminist posts that are shared online.

I want to hear what they have to say and I want to engage them. I need them to understand that they can be our allies, and support us, not be frustrated with us. There also needs to be a focus on male victims of assault and rape.

In addition, there are disappointingly many women filing fake rape cases for convenience/personal reasons that cost the men involved a lot. This misuse of the law and sensitizing women on the repercussions of false reporting should also be talked about. We need to approach the problem together, and not start a gender war instead.”