My Story: I Went To The Psychiatrist With My Mother & Finally Knew That I Had A Problem, But It Was Okay

From our friends at
Humans of Bombay
Maharashtra

June 17th, 2018 / 1:00 AM

“About 3 years ago, I started feeling like something just wasn’t right. It started with a few bad days at first, but quickly became a permanent state. I wasn’t sure if anyone would take me seriously —but I was sad and gloomy all the time, that I eventually tried to tell my friends and family. Because I was only 14 back then, most people dismissed it as a ‘phase’ or something ‘puberty related’, but with time, I kept getting worse.

I used to stay indoors for weeks at a time and it started getting more difficult for me to socialize. It was as if a dark cloud was constantly looming over me, and just getting up in the morning felt like an impossible task — I started getting thoughts of harming myself.

In January of this year, during a particularly bad night, I snapped. I knew I couldn’t go on for even one more day feeling like that and I decided to do something about it.
I made an appointment with a psychiatrist and took my mother along with me. The doctor diagnosed me with social anxiety and depression— I finally had an answer and knew I wasn’t crazy— I had a problem and that was okay.

I started my medication and once I accepted myself and focused on my healing— amazing things happened. I began to smile and love every part of my life — the good and the bad. Soon after, I met someone special. We spoke about our lives and the universe, and even though neither of us planned on getting into a relationship — we fit together. He knew about my mental health and instead of feeling embarrassed like I used to — I spoke about how proud I was of myself — and that’s when the big change happened. Once you accept yourself, the world has no choice but to accept you too. He’s helped me get here — he’s made me feel special in small but solid ways — like getting me my favourite flowers or just saying things like ‘i’m proud of you’. He’s not my whole world, he’s a part of it, but I’m happier than I’ve ever been in the last few years.

That one night in January changed everything — the second I decided to help myself, things just started getting better. Next week, I’m having a therapy session with my mother — I know that it will bring us closer together. The rest of my family are still coming to terms with my depression, but i’m hopeful that they will accept it soon enough.

The most important thing I want to say is that the first person to help YOU is always YOU. It’s okay to not be okay and to seek help.

I recently read a poem I’d written during the darker days; a poem about suicide — and I can’t believe that was me. I’ve come such a long way and I’m so proud of myself.

As a symbol of my journey, I got this semi colon tattooed — it was a gift from me, to me. Writers use semicolons when they want to end a sentence but chose not to and that’s the reminder I want for myself. That even though I paused and had a low phase, the sentence isn’t over…life isn’t over.”


"About 3 years ago, I started feeling like something just wasn’t right. It started with a few bad days at first, but…

Posted by Humans of Bombay on Friday, November 10, 2017


 

Share your thoughts..

Related Stories

Hardik Patel

Hardik Patel’s Alleged Sex Tape: Most Indians Okay With Snooping But Not Pre-Marital Sex

My Story: My Mother Fought Everyone To Make Her Daughter-In-Law; We Knew No One Would Attend Our Wedding

My Story: I Never Went Out Alone And This Proved To Be A Big Mistake When I Had To Take My Husband To The Hospital

harendra singh

Harendra Singh’s Own Story May Have Been Tragic, But He Knew How To Change His Fate

My Story: I Went To The Global Citizen Festival But I Failed To See Many People Who Deserved To Be There

My Story: I Had To Fight Because Somewhere In My Mind I Knew That If I Die, My Kids Will Not Get Enough Support

Latest on The Logical Indian

News

Govt Overlooks Major Concerns While Proposing New Groundwater Rules

News

Karnataka: Cabinet Gives Nod To Amend RTE Act; To Give First Preference To Govt Schools

Exclusive

Meet Meerut’s Club 60, A Group Of Senior Citizens Working Towards A Greener Environment

Get Inspired

Going Forward: After Two Trains Ran Over His Legs, This Man Found A Passion For Dancing

Fact Check

Fact Check: From Pakistan’s Flag Waved In Rajasthan To Rahul Gandhi’s U-Turn On Loan Waiver

Awareness

Central Govt Spent Rs 5,245 Cr On Ads Since 2014 Says Union Minister Rajyavardhan Rathore

x

Stories that deserve attention, delivered to your inbox!

Handpicked, newsworthy stories which deserve the attention of a rational generation.