My Story: “I Did Not Want To Kill Him. I Wanted Him To Be In My Life”

The Logical Indian Crew

March 31st, 2017

“I did not want to kill him. I wanted him to be in my life. I knew that if anyone could find it out, they would kill him. But I was able to hide him for many months. Then sometimes in morning when I went to sleep I asked myself why to punish someone by bringing into my life which has no hope, no tomorrow. But he was the only one with whom I talk like a child without being afraid, without being someone else. He also responded in my stomach like a butterfly by assuring that he will never leave me.

The day my madam found out I was pregnant; she wanted to kill my child. She was trying to kick me and I held her legs. I screamed, begged her to give me a chance to live. I did not leave her feet for how long I cannot say; then she stopped pushing me and asked me why I wanted to bring lifetime suffering. She left without hurting me anymore.

Then the time arrived. During delivery I had eclampsia and severe blood loss. Through the entire time I did not stop talking to my child, I whispered to him that we had to make the journey. Till then we survived many miracles. He was then three months old, his only favorite thing was bird. But we were caged; I was not able to show him any bird. We had no room and I had to go back to attend clients. With every passing day, I was afraid that one day my boy will hate me most. But whenever I looked at him he always smiled by assuring that all I had is him.

He was three months twenty days old when I handover him to a childless couple. They were crying after holding my baby. I looked from distant; felt he was in the right hands. My madam requested me to keep Murad, told me that I won’t survive without him. But my mother heart felt Murad will be happy with them than me. When they were leaving, the woman came to me, put a packet of money in my bag and said they will keep his name Murad, they will not change it. I said nothing. Then the man came closer to show me Murad for the last time. Told me that when he will grow older they will bring him back to me and if he wants to be with me, they won’t stop him. I looked at my child, he smiled to me like always. I said, ‘Never tell him, his mother was a prostitute. Never let him to search me. He should never know he was born in a cage. I want him to be a bird, to fly in the sky, if you can, helps him to do that.’ I returned their packet and was able to come back to the brothel without looking back; I do not want my child to smile at a prostitute.”

– Momota


I did not want to kill him. I wanted him to be in my life. I knew that if anyone could find it out, they would kill him….

Posted by GMB Akash on Saturday, March 4, 2017


Story By – GMB Akash

Share your thoughts..

Related Stories

My Story: I Have No Regrets Even Though We Are Poor. He Takes Care Of Our Daughter When I Work

My Story: I Stopped Laughing Because No One Gave Money To A Happy Child. I Had To Look Sad To Earn

My Story: I Was 13 & Already A Mother When My Daughter & I Were Thrown Out Of Our Home & Left On The Streets

My Story: My Father Blamed Her For Being A Bad Woman As She Cared For An Adopted Child

My Story: Everyone Says That I Have Ruined My Granddaughter’s Life. I Feel Happy That I Destroyed Her Life

My Story: I Heard The Girl Crying. Suddenly, She Jumped From The Rickshaw & Went To The Railway Tracks

Latest on The Logical Indian

News

Bihar: Refused To Give Free Vegetables To Cop, 14-Year-Old Rots In Jail For 3 Months

Exclusive

Telangana: This IPS Officer Is Saving Lives By Fighting The Menace Of Fake News

Awareness

5,000 Fine If Caught With Plastic Bag, Maharashtra Plastic Ban From Tomorrow

Awareness

Know About Justice Chelameswar Who Retired Today After A Seven-Year Tenure In Supreme Court

News

Bank Whose Director Is Amit Shah Collected Rs 745 Crore Worth Old Notes During Demonetisation: RTI

News

AC Put On Full Blast To Hound Us Out: Passengers Of Delayed AirAsia Flight