I am a 35-year-old transwoman staying in Kolkata and a professional model. I am also a graduate in Business Administration and fashion design. I became the first transgender model to walk the ramp without any surgery or hormone therapy. When people from my community would mostly shy away from this profession, I made sure to set an example for all. I have done various ramp shows as well as professional shoots, and have little experience in the acting industry as well.

I didn’t realise my sexual identity by myself, in fact, society made me realise that I am different from others. I have never thought of myself as a boy or man ever since I got my senses. I have always considered myself a girl, but when I first learned about female genitals, it was shocking for me and led me to depression.

During my childhood, I couldn’t understand why everyone was bullying me. They used to call me by names, and my school life was nothing less than a nightmare for me. My effeminate behaviour became a curse for me. I even became suicidal, but I never thought of giving up my studies.

I always knew I had to change my body to get the right one. So, in August 2016, I talked to my mother, and she was like “If your dad allows it, she is fine with it”. However, my father is a very conservative person. It was very hard to make him understand the whole process. What I have observed over these years is that every parent is ready to accept their child, but they refuse to do it just because they fear society. No child will leave their homes once this world starts accepting them with open arms the way they are.

Life Post Transition

Nonetheless, in 2018, I got my sex reassignment surgery done. But it is not as easy as it seems to be. It is a long-term process that includes various visits to psychologists, psychiatrists, endocrinologists, hormone treatment for at least a year, facial hair removal treatment, vaginoplasty, etc. After going through the whole thing, now I love myself more. I am much more confident than before. I am now living every second of my life like a free bird. It feels like I was kept in a cage until now and someone has suddenly opened the door.

For those struggling with their gender identity, I would say that know yourself first and accept who you are, what you want from life, study well no matter what, this will lead you to achieve your dream. Never harm yourself, always remember there are good and bad times. Never underestimate yourself and have patience. No one will understand or accept you overnight, for me it took 6 years, for others it could take more or less.

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