My Story: 'Girls Are Not A Liability, Let Them Live The Way They Want, They Will Do Wonders'

I was born in a royal family from Hailakandi (a small town in Assam's Barak Valley). My parents already had two daughters and they wanted a son this time. My father's family was typical male-dominated. When they got to know it was a girl again, they refused to accept my mother and me. After my birth, my father stayed there for one day at the hospital and then he left. My mom had to do all the formalities alone and get discharged by herself.

My grandfather passed away after two weeks of my birth. I was labelled with a new name, 'Manhoos' (jinxed). My father was asked to remarry with the hope of having a son, but he somehow resisted. Two years later, my mother gave birth to a baby boy and it was such a great relief for all of us. But I and my Mumma had to still go through all the taunts, drama, misbehaviour from my grandma. She used to hide my food, my mother always had to keep an eye so that no one harmed me. I was very young but still remember how hateful her look used to be, how she used to threaten me by showing sticks and other heavy kinds of stuff.

After a specific time, our family moved to the neighbouring Silchar town where my father used to work, leaving my grandma at our ancestral house. My father is a Dental Surgeon, but we always had financial issues.

Roller Coaster Ride

My journey has been a rollercoaster ride. Smiling and laughing in the toughest of situations became my habit. When my family did not accept me, my mother used to tell them, "The girl you are refusing to accept today will make you proud someday." It hit me hard and I thought I would have to be the one now. I started dreaming high but was not sure what exactly to do. First, I decided to be a fashion designer, then an entrepreneur even got a job in a real estate firm, but nothing really gave me that kind of peace and satisfaction.

In the meantime, the Nirbhaya incident happened. Like it shook the entire nation, it left me in trauma too. Mumma broke down and asked my sister and me to join martial arts. From then, my search started but unfortunately couldn't find an institute that could take adults. In 2015, I came across one of my college friends, who was now a martial arts coach. He agreed and soon we joined his class.

Life took a sudden turn. I was more active and energetic than before. But unfortunately, it didn't last long. My family decided to move to Kolkata for better career opportunities for my sister and brother. We went there but I felt suffocated as I saw my dreams of a successful martial arts player getting blurred. I came back to Guwahati.

In 2017, my coach and I joined hands to start our academy DASTBI MMA. He used to work in Yes Bank Shillong and I again joined my previous real estate firm as a manager. At first, we faced many difficulties getting students but once someone enrolled, they loved the training and became a part of our family. Next year, my coach decided to leave his well-paid job and follow his dream. We soon opened our second branch in Beltola, while it became difficult for me to switch between the work and the academy. So, I also decided to leave my office.

Dastbi is now a well-known brand in India in martial arts. We also introduced our fighting platform Versus Championship in 2018, which is now an international platform. We started with two students, but today, there are over 400 of them and three branches of our academy five years later. Recently, I even won Gold in the Kettlebell National Championship.

However, there's still a long way ahead. I have just started taking tiny footsteps towards my goal. My dreams are very high and I will stick to achieving them, no matter what.

It is unfortunate that our society still differentiates between boys and girls, despite being in the 21st century. There are numerous girls who are achieving new heights every day. Girls are not a liability, give them a life of their choice, they will do wonders. If you expect the boys to bring fame and money to your family, the girls can do the same. The time has changed and we need to change our thoughts too.

If you too have an inspiring story to tell the world, send us your story at mystory@thelogicalindian.com