My Story: I Was Made Fun Of Because I Never Fit In, But Worst Of All, I Was A Victim Of Sexual Abuse

The Logical Indian

April 28th, 2016 / 12:35 AM

“I am a 23 year old developer in a well-known firm, graduated from one of the best universities in the USA. I’ve, at such a young age, what most people only dream of and I’m grateful for this particular life. But my childhood is a period I’d like to erase from my memories completely. It wasn’t a golden period for me, like it was, for most kids. I was made fun of because I never fit in, but worst of all, I was a victim of sexual abuse.

My parents were never a happy couple and more often than not, ended up neglecting me. The echoes of my frustrated screams, as I tried to stop their fights, are still crystal clear in my head. I remember how I loved them dearly, but not when they were together in a room.

In LKG, I remember distinctly, when my teacher made me sit in the last row with three boys. They tried to slip their hands under my skirt, and when I told this to my friend, she preferred to stay quiet. I stared in terror at my friend’s silence and for the first time, discovered true helplessness. I was four.

My parents weren’t very communicative, so I chose not to tell them my fears. We used to live in a government established colony, where we played on the ground floor of one of the buildings. My best friend, at that time, lived right above us. Her uncle visited often. He’d take us in his arms and talk about inappropriate things. Sometimes, he’d slip his hand under my skirt and touch me. As a kid, I didn’t understand I was a victim of sexual abuse, but I knew it was wrong and learnt to stay away from him. I wondered if he continued doing it to his own niece. There was another man, a family friend as well as a colleague of my father. He lived only with his nine year old daughter who was one of my friends. He’d invite me to his house whenever possible. Though I don’t recollect everything clearly, I do know that he used to make me lie down and would grope me all over. The day he inserted his fingers inside me was when I truly felt traumatised. I can not nor I want to discuss the other traumatising memories of my life.

I couldn’t speak to anyone and my mother kept allowing him to take me to his house to ‘play with his daughter’. The communicative barrier between my parents and me is the reason I’ve nightmares of him to this day. I’d have been less of an introvert and shy person and more lively and confident in my childhood if I’d not been victimised. My life would have turned out to be entirely different, maybe, and I wouldn’t have been scarred for life.

I need all the parents out there to understand that parenthood is much more than providing proper food and education to your child. You need to be your child’s friend. Whoever you befriend becomes a part of your kid’s life too. I can never blame my parents but I do want everyone to see this situation and if something happens please do understand your child’s situation and take action against those perpetrators.

And I want all the girls and boys like me to ignore all the embarrassment that is preventing you from talking to your guardians. They’re here to protect you, let them do their job. And never forget that you’re not alone.”

Anonymous (The identity of the my story contributor is kept anonymous upon request.)

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