My Story: I Was Attracted To A Boy But Throughout My Childhood I Silenced Myself And Pretended To Be Someone Else
November 23rd, 2016
Source: Humans of Bombay
I always knew I had different preferences, but throughout my childhood, I silenced myself and pretended to be someone else. When my friends at school spoke about girls I felt uncomfortable.
When I was sexually attracted to a boy at 14, I tried my best to subdue it. I began to spend more time reading online, wondering if maybe I wasn’t the only one…and I wasn’t! It still took me 3 years to ‘come out’ to my parents— and they were devastated.
Over the next few years, we grew apart but I was determined to show them my world and at 21, I made my first gay-themed short film, ‘Logging Out’. I won an international award for it, but after watching that movie, the distance between my parents and me completely disappeared. We began to have healthy discussions about LGBT rights and when my relatives started bad mouthing me, I didn’t even need to say anything, my parents defended me the whole way.
I have organized a number of Gay Pride Parades, and my mother recently walked with a placard that read, ‘I am proud of my Gay Child’! — and that was the best feeling in the world!”
How have your relationships been so far?
“When I was 20, I lost my boyfriend in a car accident and that was a really difficult time for me. Since then there have been relationships, but for now I’m focusing on my career and the cause.”
What’s the dream?
“In a few years, I see myself marrying a good man in front of my family and friends in the traditional Indian way, hopefully. We’ll adopt children and a stray dog and grow old together, that’s the dream.”