“Everything was to get changed this year, and it did change. I was about to appear in my 12th Board Examination. My father’s not financially stable, and my mother hopes that everything will fall in place after all these “Downs and Downs”. There are times when my father does not even have 500 bucks in his pocket. When my dad got bankrupt, he had to sell all of my mother’s jewellery to pay off his debts. I have seen my parents crying at times because they never want us to live a life like they have lived. They are living a life where depressing phase seems to have no end and things are getting worse than ever. I have been through more upheaval than some people will experience in a lifetime. From being sexually abused to be alleged for some murder to the unfulfillment of my dream, I have been through all this. Things are very different for me. I am not a normal kid. I never had friends. Tough times made me like this.

So, this year was to bring a change in my life as I always believed. I had a dream. Dream to get admitted in SRCC. I saw it as an opportunity to make things better for my parents. I worked hard to make things real. And I was happy that now things will change for the better. But when I woke up on my first board exam day, I went through some dehydration issues. I was not even in a condition to walk. I somehow managed to go to the examination centre, but at a point, while writing my exam, I felt like ‘Ab nahi ho paayega’ (I can’t do this now). Still, I kept on saying in my mind that I will have to do it and I did. But again, I had chicken pox during my board examinations which left me with tears. I didn’t give my best in my papers, and it was the only way which I believed will make things better for my parents.

My pain was as indescribable and as intense as it sounds. I started getting hysteria attacks. It all came to an end when my brother sent me a quote that ‘Life’s blow cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed by the fire of enthusiasm’ and then I planned to rise with a different career option. I went for a chartered accountancy course, and it was only ten days of studying when I witnessed a toothache after which I had to undergo a dental surgery. I was just coming out of this storm when I was hit with a devastating health setback resulting from all these things. I left chartered accountancy course and my parents told me not to start my further studies this year, but I wasn’t convinced. My board results were out. And I had a tinge of tears in my eyes. I scored 95.2% in spite of whatever happened. Yes, I didn’t get SRCC, but I was happy that I scored better even at the worst times.

I can only describe the past one year as being tossed about in a series of waves in a raging ocean: you emerge, swim towards the shore, get knocked down yet again. You emerge again.

Today, I am studying economics at Delhi University. I have gained the perspective that can only come from a crisis. I have made genuine friends who are amazing. And what I study in economics is to make the optimum use of scarce resources and I am doing that keeping in view the financial devastation of my parents.”

What I believe is:
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep
but I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep
and miles to go before I sleep”

Submitted By Deepak Kumar

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