My Story: ‘One’s Sensitivity And Vulnerability Can Very Much Be A Part Of Their ‘Manly’ Traits’

A young and shy Sagar Verma found respite in expressing himself through music and fashion. After being mocked for being too sensitive, he now speaks about masculinity as not limited to having a beard and being physically tough.

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Music is the most memorable thing in my life. I was always a shy kid with an expressive mind- and ‘music’ was my first medium for expression. I was in class sixth when I wrote my first song, which was how I discovered my second medium for expression- ‘songwriting’. While growing up, I always felt a little different from my peers. Many of my peers were not as sensitive or soft around me. As a result, I learned to toughen up and hide my sensitive side. Heck, I even kept a beard in college- just so people around me could perceive me as a more masculine man. 

Much More To Masculinity That What Society Teaches

But there is so much more to masculinity than what society teaches us. Simply having a beard, being tall or even being tough does not cut it. Those are what gender norms teach us about masculinity. And often, in the pursuit of being more masculine, people lose their humanity. Masculinity is what one makes of it. One’s sensitivity and vulnerability can very much be their manly traits too! Don’t let society teach you otherwise and take your humanity away.

Asked My Mum To Drape Me A Saree

I found my 3rd medium for expression with ‘fashion’- when I thought about hula-hooping in a saree to be a part of the #sareeflow trend. As I asked my mum to drape me a saree- “log kya kahenge?” did cross our minds. She was even a little uncomfortable at first, but when I explained to her why I wanted to do it, she was very supportive. She now even jokes about how she finally knows which of her three boys is inheriting her entire saree collection.

I want a world where everybody- regardless of their gender- can wear whatever they want, love whoever they want and pursue any path their hearts are set at. And while we’re still far away from it being a reality- I hope we get there soon. Dressing up, being sensitive or expressive, and accessorising the way you like- have nothing to do with your gender. But these things have everything to do with your self-expression. And no one has the right to take that away from you.

If you too have an inspiring story to tell the world, send us your story at mystory@thelogicalindian.com

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