My Story: ‘If I Don’t Love Myself, How Can I Expect Anyone Else To’

Dr Shivani Pathak was constantly taunted by society and judged for her capabilities for being obese. However, fighting all odds, she participated in beauty pageants 'Ms E & E Plus Size India 2019' and 'Ms E & E Plus Size World 2020' and emerged as a winner in both competitions. Since then, there's no looking back!

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I am the most practically optimistic, mature yet jolly and colourful person you will ever meet. I have my boundaries way above few people can reach (thanks to my life’s lessons), but once you get to know me, I am easy to fall in love with merely because of how much I love myself and life in general.

As you may have heard any other fat girl’s story, society didn’t make it easy for me to love myself, but yes, they did propel me into it. I learnt it a long time back- “If I don’t love me, how can I expect anyone else to?” I was often thought to be the loser in the clan, the DUFF and often judged for my capabilities based on my weight.

Winning Beauty Pageant

I always thought that it was so unfair that women who were tall and skinny were thought to be the beauty of India with a crown on their heads. To change it, I decided to make my own beauty pageant. But before doing so, I thought of doing some research. That is when I came across the ‘Ms E & E’ website and thought it was wonderful how someone was already making a difference. I randomly registered, shared my photographs, and well, the rest is history.

The worst comment I have come across in absolutely loving myself and being me is, “Stop promoting obesity”. Do you tell a tall person you see who is happy with their stature- stop promoting height!

People must understand that fat is an adjective used to describe a person’s weight. Just because they are happy with where they are, doesn’t mean they are promoting it. It is just that they have accepted themselves the way they are. They are no longer demeaning themselves to fit into societal norms. Once that sets in and they know how much they love themselves, then slowly and steadily, they decide to lose weight. It is entirely up to them because they wanted to, not because society said they should and wanted to fit in by practising unhealthy habits (crash diets, starving, puking after eating).

I am at a place now, where after loving myself, I want to find my fitter self.

Future Aspirations

While growing up, the constant thought that I was fed was, “You’re not good enough, you’re so ugly, who will love you?” I feel so good to overcome them by saying simple affirmations in front of the mirror, “I am enough, I am beautiful, I love me, I am healthy, and I am wealthy.”

I am a person who likes to go with the flow, and I have learnt that the most valuable lessons and blessings are the ones that come unexpectedly. But someday, maybe down the road, I would like to make my own affordable clothing line.

I see the fashion industry is really unfair to us, where the cutest tops, dresses and pants are unavailable. And if they are, we end up paying so much for just one pair of attire.

My only message to people is to live and let live, let people be the way they are and see how beautifully they bloom. Everyone doesn’t need to be as per society’s timeline, and there’s no particular time for fall and rise. I heard this somewhere, and it sticks by me, “So what if I lost the battle? I survived the war.”

If you too have an inspiring story to tell the world, send us your story at mystory@thelogicalindian.com

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