My Story: ‘The Journey From Being Ashamed Of My Alopecia To Embracing It Was Full Of New Learnings’

Shaily Malik was 31 years old when she started noticing patches on her head. Her journey from initially being misdiagnosed with a fungal infection to openly embracing her Alopecia is a lesson in self-acceptance.

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I was 31 when I noticed a little patch on my head and completely ignored it for some time. Initially, I was misdiagnosed and given treatment for some fungal infection. By the time I received the correct diagnosis of Alopecia, I had already lost most of my hair and part of my eyebrows.

Alopecia is an autoimmune disease, and you practically have no control over how and to what extent it will progress. This uncertainty of whether I will go completely bald or I might have some regrowth is one of the most stressful parts of Alopecia. My morning would begin by seeing chunks of hair on the pillow. I could see how my hair would come out in huge chunks throughout the day when I either brushed or washed them. I stopped looking in the mirror as I could not recognize myself. I started losing my eyebrows and eyelashes too. I would start crying any time of the day because I thought I was losing my identity. I could not be confident enough to go out in public as I was not comfortable with how I looked at that time. All this stress was only making things worse for me, and I almost lost half of my hair, leaving big bald spots all over my head. Hairloss, especially for women, is a complex subject that carries shame, devastation, grief, anxiety, depression, and much pain. I was not working at that time, and all I could fear was that even if I got selected for an interview, how would I face people.

I Started Embracing My Alopecia

To divert from all this stress, I started sharing some videos and pictures of my bald head on social media, and I was shocked to see how supportive people were around me. That did have a positive impact on my confidence. With support from my family and friends, I stopped feeling ashamed of my Alopecia, instead started embracing it. Recently, I shaved my head, and it felt like freedom to me. I gave job interviews, started working, travelled to cities, and did everyday activities without hiding my baldness. I still get stares when I go out, but it does not bother me anymore. And I think that social media is also getting very toxic with everyone showing up how to get perfect hair, skin and body that we have forgotten how to be our true selves in public.

Support People With Visible Illness

I did seek a couple of treatments, from Ayurveda to steroid creams and steroid injections, but somehow, it didn’t work for me. But it is different for different people. For some, treatments might work too. Therefore, Alopecia constantly gives you anxiety. You might get all your hair back, and then you can lose it again. I had some regrowth, but then I saw some new bald patches.

It is a humble request to please support the people around who have Alopecia or any illness that can cause a visible difference. It is already a challenge for them to embrace it and go out of their comfort zone. They know they can wear wigs and hats to hide their baldness, but they choose not to. I urge others to not make fun of them; instead, appreciate that they are showing their true selves.

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