My Story: I Learnt A Lesson, Looks Can Be Deceptive & Decisions Can Be Changed In A Heartbeat
“Yes, I am a typical Delhite. Being born and brought up in the city I have always been a little more open minded, a little more blunt and a little more straight forward. On a second thought, maybe it’s not about the city, it’s about the manner in which I have been raised by my parents. I had been taught to be independent and confident and I refused to alter that for anyone. Little did I know that one day I will change for him.
At the age of 21 I left India for higher education in Australia and to never look back again. I welcomed the new people and culture with arms wide open and camouflaged myself amongst them.
I hardly missed my parents as I engrossed myself in studies and, eventually, work. With no relatives or pre-known friends, I wasn’t answerable to anyone but myself. I made my own decisions for work, travel, night outs and so much more. My confidence soared as I learnt something new every day, be it new education system, people or job hunting. Finally I worked for two renowned organizations and loved my life. I was happy!
I remember I was at work one day when my parents told me about a marriage proposal from Nagpur, India.
“I don’t want to get married, and even if I did I could not and would not marry a small city boy,” I said to my parents. I gagged as I stared at his picture attached to his “bio data”. “He isn’t tall enough for me anyways. And I don’t like the way he looks. What are you thinking?”
I remember spilling my heart out to my closest friend later that evening. “I like his smile,” she said facebook-ing him. I rolled my eyes. “Its ‘Nagpur’ and ‘Nagpurite’,” I quoted in the air disgustingly. “He just makes me angry to my bones.” I said.
However, everything came to a sudden halt when my job (where I had worked for 3 years) was opened for the public to apply without my knowledge; whereas the contract at my other job came to an end as well. I was heartbroken.
With no job at hand, I forced myself to return to India.
After too much compelling from my father, I decided to meet him after all. However my dislike towards him had further deepened in past few weeks. I knew in my heart I would never like him.
Finally the day arrived. December 7th 2012, I sat in my room reading and waiting for the boys’ family to arrive. I groaned loudly as I heard noises outside. “I hate him…I hate him,” I chanted in my head.
“I am not going to take tea and samosas and claim to have made them. I can hardly cook and I can’t lie”. I told my mother with finality in my voice.
“You don’t need to. Oh…they are here. We will call you later.” My mother said rushing outside to welcome them.
After what seemed like an hour my aunt came for me. Like any other girl, I reckon everyone expected me to be shy; I wasn’t. I went out waving Hi at younger ones and Namaste to elders. I was being seated between his mother and aunt and the irritating staring began. While everyone stared at me, I stared at the boy. Well, weren’t we all there for the very same reason, “To see and meet each other”. To my amusement, the boy stared at the floor.
I like the way he is dressed, I thought the very first time I saw him. Not bad. Not bad at all.
My anger dropped a notch. I was asked questions about cooking, style of dressing etc.
“So typically rude,” I thought. Frowning, I answered.
“You guys can be alone and talk.” One of the elders suggested. I sighed with relief. I was tired of being gawked at. I shrugged into my warm jacket and went for a walk in freezing cold with him. Initially I had thought him to be quiet but oh! How wrong I was! He spoke nonstop and I followed his lead. We talked about our lives in London and Australia and discussed movies and life in general. I found myself laughing with him; he felt like an old punch-on-the-arm buddy and after what felt like an hour we returned to my place.
And that’s when I had a sudden change of heart and decided to marry him. My own decision took me by surprise.
“I have to marry someone, then why not him,” I replied to my father’s “So?” after they had left.
Five months later we tied the knot in Nagpur city itself.
We have married for almost three years now and are parents to a beautiful two month old boy.
Today, I think about the ways in which my life changed with him and it never fails to surprise me. His patience and optimism encourages me to be a better person and I fall in love with him every day. I love the mischief in his eyes, and his lopsided smile. His “not too tall” factor had never bothered me. He encourages me towards my goals and stirs me to the right path every now and then. I can’t thank him enough for everything.
I learnt a lesson: – Looks can be deceptive and decisions can be changed in a heartbeat.
I am proud to say, “Yes, we are greying together. Yes, I love him to the moon and back. Yes, I love him more than my son.””
Submitted By – Upasana Singhal Bansal
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