Expectations are born before we are.We grew up eventually answering to various questions at various stages of life.There is no end to one’s expectation on the other,though the level of expectation varies from one individual to the other.The expectation on kids to perform academically will affect the kid psychologically. As a parent, we hope and try to raise our children to have a better life than we did,but too often we cross a line with our hypothetically high standard which at times take a tragic end. It’s been more than a decade, but no time will be sufficient to heal the pain physically and mentally caused due to the loss of my dearest cousin.
To describe him I would say he was dark, handsome, with a spark in his eyes and a fire in him to achieve something big .We meet during occasions and annual vacations.He was 2 years elder than me and was an inspiration to all of my cousins as he was very humble, though was overloaded with talents. He was a stylish cricketer and excellent chess player as well. The way he focuses on the game and wins in style always left me in awe. I saw him last when he was in his 10th grade.
My aunt wished him to pursue a professional degree and shine like a bright star in our family,which no doubt is a common expectation from every parent who almost always want the best for their children. He studied hard not only to chase his dreams but also to fulfill his parents “lost dreams”. He got a good score in his 12th grade with a score of 85%. I still remember his depressed voice when I wished him on phone to congratulate him on his score. He was very disappointed as he was .5% less to enter engineering college in free quota. My uncle and aunt were so very supportive that they were even ready to sell their house to join him in management degree. But he was very determined to enter in free quota by taking the improvement exam despite the fact that he might lose a year .
Days passed, his hard work doubled and the expectations on him multiplied and finally the day came when he was ready to face the most awaited result of his life. He bid farewell to his mom(who didn’t knew that she is going to see him for the very last time) and promised her that he would return with a good news. She waited for hours, days but he never returned. For three days all my family members were searching for him nook and corner. The search stopped finally when the worst news hit our ears that a body was floating offshore the marina beach which was his favorite destination and which unfortunately became his final one too. All of us weren’t ready to face the reality that he is no more and refused to agree that it was him, until we came to know about the result of his improvement exam in which he had scored an average of 65% which made him the decision to end his life.
Many of his friends shouted in anger and asked his parents to apply for revaluation as they were 100% sure of his capability, but his parents denied saying that when their son’s precious life itself lost its value , what is the use of re-evaluation. The loss is terrible, my aunt lost her only son, a sister lost her loving brother, his friends lost their dearest one, I lost my talented cousin but more than everything a good human being is lost forever. At times I think if he had been with us he would have surely been a chess champion or a cricketer or a doctor or engineer or an inspiring achiever in whatever field he would have taken, for sure.
I wished to share this bitter experience only for the betterment of the student who are taking their 12th exams. Please don’t judge your ability with the academic results. Do your best, let the LORD do the rest. As a parent, we should learn to expect nothing and appreciate everything to avoid disappointment to face later. Kids should be taught that “Failure is not a bad option” it might be the stepping stone to Success. I wish all the best to the students who appear for the 12th exams and pray for their success in life.
LIFE IS FULL OF UPS AND DOWN, BUT IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU WILL ALWAYS COME THROUGH FLYING COLORS.
Submitted By – Maha Ram
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