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My Story: ‘I Was Made Fun Of And Bullied Because I Loved Feminine Things’

After much bullying and the pressure of behaving 'normal', Devjyot Pattnaik realized that finding his own self, and confiding to society's judgement of his worth is the purest form of self-love.

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While growing up, I was always fascinated by arts, culture, music and everything creative. As a child, I would see my mother put on makeup after wearing her favourite saree and blush in front of the mirror. Since then, I have been curious about what the box of creams and powders held that made my mother so happy. So, makeup was always my cup of coffee, and one of the reasons I was bullied in childhood was because everything I loved was ‘feminine’. I had this one person, my best friend, who supported me in all my lows and stood firm while I fought the stereotypical notions through all the bullying.

I Always Fought For My Non-Conventional Preferences

In Class 8, I discovered that I was bisexual. Initially, I never understood what it meant. English movies and shows educated me a lot on sexuality, love and everything the society was uncomfortable with me for! Fighting for my non-conventional preferences made me come out to myself. Still, I took a few years to come out to my friends and now my sexual preferences (which should ideally be personal) is known public.

Make-Up Is Therapeutic For Me

For me, makeup has always been my safe space. I feel that it is only through makeup that we express our most authentic selves. When I put vibrant colours on my body, I find it to be therapeutic. My first look raised several eyebrows, nasty comments from my schoolmates, and advice from my relatives and so-called well-wishers did break me for a brief period. My relatives had made my mother believe that I was an ‘abnormal’ son. Eventually, my mother came around, supporting me and my passion for makeup with all her might.

Sometimes I thank all my friends, family, and enemies disguised as friends because they pushed me to find myself and gave me the much-needed revelation that I am much more than how society weighs me. Finally, I can be loud and proud of myself.

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