I am so gay today ( literally and figuratively ) as I am no longer a criminal. While I pen down my message, it’s my sincere request to share this message hoping it reaches to folks who are struggling within and also to their families. Please do not hesitate in sharing. If you hesitate, I lose. We lose!
Sexuality is a part of your identity and not your identity. Everyone takes their own time to accept themselves, thereafter its a journey of self-awareness and owning your personality traits. Two years ago I lived a life which was not letting me live like a free bird. The dual in my mind was strong enough to let me be unsure of who I was. Then I started my journey of self-exploration through socializing with folks from the community and their life values and experiences helped me deal with this battle in my head. I came out to my dearest friend Nikhil on his birthday and felt that I gained the honest trust by telling my true story. My life changed at the very moment. It felt as if a butterfly came out of a cocoon. Soon I started coming out to my brothers I gained in college and their response was heart melting. My parents live in a conservative surrounding and I didn’t want them to get hurt or be taunted by others because of my sexuality. It was hurting me to keep this within but I did not want to be that selfish thus I took time and when the time seemed right I got the courage to let them know about my orientation. The reaction was not negative and that made me feel privileged. But there were doubts in the lines of biological problems ( impotency, erectile dysfunction etc ) which the society claims to make a man less of man. They needed time and thus I waited to not come out in public to protect them.
Today as I entered my home, my mom and dad gave me a tight hug and happily said “congratulation son, now it’s legal” and I couldn’t help but let out tears of joy (I’m getting this sudden tear burst even while writing this). I learnt that my mother has been sensitizing the folks around her (about homosexuality). My dad is a govt employee and this law, until now, was holding him back to fight for me because of the fear of what such laws create in the minds of our parents. Today on this historic day September 6, 2018, my parents are so happy that my mother, in fact, told me “now go broadcast it” “Acha hai abhi koi ladhki ka rishta leke nahi aayega” (Good now that we won’t get marriage proposals of girls for you). She is my gem. From not knowing anything about LGBT to becoming a person sensitizing people around her about the same, I am proud of her.
Now the next step is awareness so that we live in harmony along with our fellow Indians. We still have a very long way to go to reach a state where we see same-sex marriage in India. I hope to see queer folks not trying to fit into heteronormativity and cherishing what they really are. We are not asking for sympathy but a safe and friendly place to live in harmony. Our lack of awareness, our assumptions, ignorance and phobias are killing our closeted friends. Let’s get to know about the LGBTQ community so that’s we don’t unintentionally be insensitive to our dear friends. Do share this if you think you learnt something and might help others.
I never wanted to spread gossip about my sexuality rather use it to sensitizing folks I come across in my life journey and I am really really grateful to you. To all my brothers – love you all, you don’t know how lucky I feel having you guys in my life. You guys elevated my spirit when I came out to you and made me realise I am so much more than being your gay friend. My community family sends hugs and kisses to you all, we have definitely come a long way.
Special Note: Dear LGBTQ fellows, if you are facing any kind of challenge or need any guidance, please feel free to reach out to me. Call me on (+91-9561414873) or email me ([email protected]), if you think that I could be of some help. You have got only one life. Live it well. Play it well. Don’t be afraid of anything or anyone.
In the course of my coming out, this quote from Sense 8, I relate with a little too much –
“What you are trying to seek is a well-defined answer which is already what you are expecting to hear.
But the answer is not that simple.”
Now this is my quote
“Truth Gives you Power!”
Now where is the party tonight?
Story By – Arnab Nandy
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